


i. vermillion eyes

by skitjobbig



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, basically just kaworu rambling away, mostly just, the death is more implied than it is Actual Death Scene heyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 07:58:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3521546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skitjobbig/pseuds/skitjobbig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the air smelt like rain on asphalt and his hair smelt like your first love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i. vermillion eyes

**Author's Note:**

> *doesn't capitalize writing* rebellion

you loved the feeling of being alive, and the drops running down your back along with the sweaty hand wrapped around yours gave that to you. a unique kind of sensation and a new kind of presence. the air smelt like rain on asphalt and his hair smelt like your first love. ****

the loops where you kissed always went by all too quickly.

you loved the feeling of _being,_ and the scars left wrist kept you reminded. it gave you a sense of reality; it helped you calm and pulled you back to earth whether you needed it or not. you saw him glancing down at it from time to time. you didn’t know what it meant to him.

_’not human’_ you told yourself, because above all else, you were tabris. it was easy to forget; to get lost in time loops and in the physical being of a human body that - you always pointed out to yourself - wasn’t so much you as it could’ve been anyone else. this body wasn’t yours to inhabit, but you did.

you loved the boy and you were determined to let him know.

_’not human’_

you loved him and you could tell him, so you did. you could show him all the love you had to give. you could do anything for him; but did it _prove_ anything? you started second-guessing your mission and your own agenda. but that didn’t prove anything to anyone but yourself.

you loved the boy and the large hand radiating a numbing cold wrapped around you was sure to let him know. that’s what you thought, with uncertainty. it hurt him more than it hurt you, even as the ode ended and the hand squeezed harder than ever. it was fine; you didn’t get very far this time, anyway.

you loved him the next time and the thousand times after that.

**Author's Note:**

> hhOOO my first fanfic?? first time uploading something publicly??? lotsa first times Lmao. i haven't written anything in years and i'm just throwing myself back in.
> 
> this is planned to be a series with four parts, eventually. one day
> 
> critique is warmly welcomed!


End file.
